JAPS AINT SHIT

1. Get over yourself
2. Yes your 'Daddy' makes more money than my 'Daddy'
3. I don't care
4. What that? Oh another person? Yeah - Your not the only person in the world. A world that doesn't revolve around you.

[HomeSickOfJAPs]

Magic T-Shirt

When I was about 5 i had (well at least i thought i had) a t-shirt. It looked like an average dykes shirt but there was something special about it. To this day i am convinced that my shirt could change the weather. I had 2 kinds, red and blue, red= hot, blue= rain (pretty fucking simple). But non of my friends (all two of them) believes me and i don't no why! I'm not crazy, sure ive got a few bolts in my head loose, but one things for certain. I wouldnt fucking lie about having t-shirts that can change the weather. I recently confronted my mum about this and she said the other boys were just jealous (great fucking help u old hag... nah but i love u :D). So now I have a problem, 2 shirts, don't know where they are, could change the weather= save global warming. Take that Kevin Rudd, 2 t-shirts can achieve something better than you can do in your whole life you dick (freedom of speech bitch) But i love my country (only the greatest in the world) too bad we fucked it up with new prime minister, nothing personal "Mr" Rudd, but frankly I think the Liberal would fuck labour up the ass any day. Back to the proper story, I had 2 t-shirts that could change the weather, jealous?

School Toilets

Ok so I’m at school right now, still feeling stoned somehow. I should be doing my English report, but instead I’ve decided to tell you what is annoying me at the moment. At school, the old toilets don’t stink that bad, unless someone just chucked a massive shit. The toilets in our new building constantly have piss on the floor and stink of vomit. They stink worse than public toilets at random parks where people get thier gay on or sell drugs. The weird thing is that only the “behind the scenes” teachers use that toilet. So either they piss vomit onto the floor. Or they just do massive rank fucking shits 1st thing every morning.

[HomeSick]

Fun Weekend Boring Blog

My weekend started on Friday after noon after school, at indoor soccer. I scored a goal and then we won against the top team. It was a great start to a great weekend.

Saturday I woke up at ten to 9 in the morning and wasn’t going out until 11:30. this was the longest 2 and a half hours of my life. There was nothing T.V. at all, no one online to talk to. I literally did nothing for those two hours. Finally 11:30 came and I was able to leave. We all arrived at my friends house at the same time. Which worked well. We left his house after a short while and made are way to Mirrabooka. we all got lunch then went to majestic park. we ate our lunch and nothing else :D. As Silly Putty’s post before this says, threw up his ultimate double whopper. We then got hungry but couldn’t leave him alone, seeing as he was asleep on the grass. Me and another mate walked back to Mirrabooka to get food for the others. On the way we found a salvos shop. I saw a mad jumper and a mad hat. Had to make a decision, one or the other. I bought the jumper, but I still want the hat.

Later my sister calls me crying her eyes out. Her and a friend were home alone and said they heard people in the house. We get back to my house as fast as we could. In the end there was no one there, but we managed to trick our friend into thinking that we knocked one out and called the cops on them. Very disappointing.

Today we walked to MacDonald’s in Morley and then went to the park next to it. We finished off our italian meal. An aboriginal and another man that I thought was black but later heard just dirty (I’m not racist.) I started shaking and packed my wallet and camera into my bag and, in a volume that I thought was simply loud enough for them to hear, said, but apparently yelled. “What time does the movie start, we should probably go now, don’t want to miss it” and we left. We made our way to the galleria to eat the new burgers from maccas we bought. We managed to get $2 and went on dthe internet for 25 minutes. We must’ve been sitting there for about 45 minutes doing shit all. The week end was really fun, but doesn’t seem like alot happened.

Next week end is my cousin’s bar mitzvah week end and I am going to try get drunk...

[HomeSick]

Ultimate Double Whopper with Cheese.

Yesterday, me n a few mates thought it would be cool to walk to a hungry jacks, order our meal, walk to a park and ate it. Everything was going fine, I was fucking full from eating my ultimate double whopper with extra cheese, when my throat and stomach started to feel sore. Next thing I know I’m puking out my whopper, but not just as puke. You could distinctly recognize the lettuce, beef and cheese swimming in a pool of yellow chunky shit. 10 minutes later the liquid had separated itself from the solids and I thought I was finally starting to feel better. Instead, after having my head down for 15 minutes, the second I lifted it up, the puke came pouring out again, but this time I didn’t have enough time to make it to the ground and just let it go on the seat next to me. This wasn’t a one off puke either, this was te mother. A variety of foods that I had eaten over the past 2 days came pouring out of my stomach in 3 second intervals. In the end, the puke count was at a lovely 7 times and today (being the day after) The worst part about it, the walk home. At this point, two of my friends had gone to the shops near the hungry jacks (which I was totally unaware of considering the fact that I had gone to sleep on the grass.) When they got back, we had to walk all the way back to one of my mate’s house where I fell asleep on his bros bed.

Coles Brand :/

People are always looking for the right sale or bargain. It gives them the sense of victory over society. They found a cheaper version of something that has the same properties and effects. Well I have news for everyone; COLES BRAND PRODUCT SUCKS SHIT!

Yes, it may look and smell the same, but as soon as you take a bit or drink or drag of this 'smarter buy' product, you can instantly tell it is some rip off cheap shit. Not only does the product taste worse, they put absolutely 0% into the pac

kaging. Take cereal for example. You can buy Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, as the Kellogg's brand, in a nice Colorful and attractive box, or you can buy the Coles Brand Corn Flakes which

tastes like dry wall and looks like a 15 year old boy with no artistic flair designed the box.

But it is okay. You save a whopping 37 cents this way, so it doesn't matter if your kid's breakfast puts him in a shit mood for the rest of the day :) Listen, tell your parents to step off the cheapskate peddle and fucking splurge the extra 37 cents on nice tasting and looking cereal.

Is it that fucking hard?

Man O' Sose

Dear Man of Sose, I do not see the point in learning about Sir John Monash – the forgotten ANZAC/ Bloke from the $100 bill – I understand you may enjoy teaching this boring bullshit, but I can assure you, I do not enjoy learning it. I get that he led the Aussies to victory, but we do not need to go on and on about his personal life and other non-sense that is irrelevant to our learning’s. Doing a timeline of his life in my opinion is a waste of bloody time and effort. I’m refusing to do this work, as “my internet was not working last night” but we are in computer lab tomorrow so I will need to do some work on it. Lame.

Today in your class I managed to waste a good 20 minutes to half an hour doing this:

I quote myself, “Only the West Indies could be a big part of the western sports, but I can’t guaranty that every Monday the “Jews” and a few “Lebs” will never forget ... eight gate nine mine ten ben hen ken ... on the “twealve” day of Christmas my true love gave to me 12 sacks of goon.. (More another time.)”

This managed to convince you I was doing work, which stopped you from picking on me for a good 10 minutes of my life, but when I asked to get a drink, you, sir, did not need to yell (raised voice) “no!” at me. It would’ve been a simple sip of water from the fountain round the corner, but no, man of Sose’s ways of teaching are being; an ass hole,a cunt face,a dick nose,a chodus sucker, butt fucker,dick lover-ing son of a bitch

And by the way, I don’t think you “dark humour” is funny. Other may, and that is fine, but I’ve got to say that it is not as funny as u think, feel free to continue smirking at your own jokes. In fact I’m the only one that thinks it’s not that funny. Cos I’m annoyed at you...

[HomeSick]